Welcome back to Mom Life Jeopardy!  Here’s the last clue in Crazy Moms for $2000:

Clue:  “Oh, gosh, routines really aren’t for me.”  “I’m a free spirit and I don’t like structure.”

Answer:  What are things people who can’t find the car keys and don’t have any clean coffee cups say?

Yes!  That makes this game a runaway, folks.  The category for Final Mom Life Jeopardy is Car Line Etiquette.

You don’t want to be a Crazy Mom!  That’s why routines are so important and truly make life better instantly.  With simple routines, you can:

• Stop forgetting stuff.  Stuff like awards program at school, car keys, laundry, dishes, what’s for dinner…you get the picture.
• Reduce stress and chaos.  Say bye-bye to the agony of not having clean underwear or having to stay up till 2:00 a.m. cleaning for company.
• Be prepared for the unexpected.  When life happens and you have to get a kid to school early, you’ll be ready.
• Add structure to your day.  Having a few routines will make your day more orderly and not just a game of whack-a-mole.
• Be a great example to your family.  It’s hard to get your kids to keep track of their stuff when you can’t find your ass with both hands.  With routines, you’ll totally know where your ass is at all times.

Okay, So Maybe Routines Are Good, But What Should I Do, Exactly?

I’m so glad you asked!  Let’s start with three basic routines:  AM, After School, and PM.

AM Routine

1. Mindful Practice.  The very first thing you should do each day is take care of yourself.  Spend a few minutes getting right by meditating, praying, practicing gratitude or using affirmations.  You’ll find some useful suggestions here.
2. Get yourself ready first.  To what degree you’re going to get ready depends on your situation.  Just do whatever you need to do to leave the house, be it brushing your teeth and throwing on a t-shirt and leggings or getting dressed in a power outfit with full hair and makeup.  Take the time to get yourself ready before you get everyone else up.
3. Start the Coffee.  While the coffee is brewing, you can do the next things in the routine.  If you don’t drink coffee, use whatever fuel you superhumans use.  I know there are people who don’t drink coffee, but I seriously don’t know how they do it.
4. Unload the Dishwasher.  This is key.  Before you dirty up any dishes, make sure you put the clean ones away.  Don’t tell me you don’t have time ’cause you do.  It takes less than three minutes to unload a full dishwasher.  Having this done will keep dirty dishes out of the sink or on the counter because there is a big, empty box to put them in.
5. Breakfast and Lunch.  Again, this depends on your situation.  Do what works for your family.  I make everyone’s breakfast and lunch.  By “everyone” I mean for my husband and daughter, who pretty much eat the same thing every day, so it’s pretty easy.  If you have to get to work, everyone else can get their own dang food or maybe somebody else does this chore.  If your kids get school lunch or breakfast, make sure they have lunch money.  You may be super and a woman, but unless you have the outfit, you don’t have to do it all.
6. What’s for dinner?  Check your What’s Cookin’ Hot Stuff meal plan and see if you need to take anything out of the freezer or put anything in the crockpot.  Don’t tell me you don’t have my cute meal plan!  Sweetie, just click here.

After School Routine

1. Backpacks.  Everybody unpacks backpacks and brings you anything to be signed.  Autograph it and put it right back in the bag.  After we have been through our backpacks, WE PUT THEM AWAY!  That’s right, sweet angels, those kids can hang those babies up all by themselves.
2. Lunch boxes.  Everybody unpacks lunch boxes.  They throw away trash and put freezer packs back in the freezer.  If our lunch box is disgusting because we have smeared pudding all freaking over it, we wipe it off.  Then we put it away so it’ll be ready for tomorrow.
3. Homework.  I’m not even going to get into this with you.  Homework for elementary aged kids is useless and completely without merit.  I’m not an expert, but plenty agree, just google it.  If you have to do it though, better to get it done now and not wait until you, and your kids, are too tired.  Have a snack, set up a designated space and don’t holler at anybody.  That’s why you meditated this morning so that you don’t lose your shit over homework.

PM Routine

1. Get the coffee ready.  Everything should be all set so that you just have to push a button in the morning.  Oh, I heard you back up there when you told me that you didn’t drink coffee the first time…I just didn’t believe it.  Get your oil can ready to go as you’re obviously a robot.  Wait, am I confusing robots with the Tin Man?  Whatever, you know what I mean…
2. Start the dishwasher.  ‘Member what I said earlier about putting the dishes away in the morning?  Well, you gotta start it at night if you want clean dishes in the morning.  Run it every night, no matter what.  If mine isn’t completely full, I put the dog dishes in, or the crock that holds my cooking utensils or something else that gets really cruddy.  This step is really crucial to making everything else run smoothly.
3. Wash your face, floss your teeth and take your meds.  This is the only skin you’re getting, so take care of it.  Find a good skincare line and use it religiously.  Also, dental health is super important.  You’re going to look gross if your teeth fall out, so floss!  Take all of the meds you can at night so that you don’t forget.  I keep the dental floss and my pills in my nightstand so they’re all together, right where I need them.

That Seems Like A Lot

It may seem a little overwhelming at first.  Here’s the thing:  you don’t have to do it all today!  Add one routine at a time, or even one part of a routine at a time.  Start with the PM Routine first.  If you don’t do anything else, start the dishwasher at night and see the impact it will have on your life.  Pretty soon, you’ll be ready to add the AM Routine, then the After School Routine and then, you’ll be killing it!  You might even be ready to learn about some advanced routines like budget, meal planning and cleaning.

Why wait?  Start using your PM Routine tonight!